Is there a God? Or are you just happy to see me?

So I've decided to philosophically tackle a subject that has been discussed since creation or it's creation. Of course I speak of the One and only GOD (gods if you're polytheistic).

I recently had a conversation with my brother one day about the existence of UFOs. I was saying that it is mathematically impossible for our species to be the only "intelligent" life in our universe.

My brother answered "Well I believe in the Bible so..."

So???

I went on rattling on about the universe and space travel capabilities and how one day we will be the one abducting aliens from far off planets.

My brother again responded "All that stuff is the government covering up their top secret military hardware."

I agreed and added that it can't be all government weapons of war. I mean there is an incalculable amount of space around us with nearly an infinite amount of stars that could sustain life. I mean we live on a planet as small as earth and at one time we use to think the world was flat and nobody existed over the great Atlantic ocean. Now, as an American, I know that isn't true. So I went to explain that there was evidence that there was life on Mars and it may have been a catalyst for life on this planet. There was a brief pause, knowing that we were moving into argument country...not argument more of a disagreement demilitarized zone. We paused and my brother started to tell me how we have diffrent beliefs, he believes in God and I don't. I quickly answered with a "I never said I didn't believe in God." He said ok and continued with his point. I have to admit that I completely didn't hear a word of his conversation after that statement. I wasn't angry at him. I guess it just got me thinking.

So our conversation ended and we said good bye and I was left behind to contemplate why a good amount of my family thinks I'm an Atheist.

I'm not an Atheist. I just think Atheist are the opposite side of the same religious coin. Some say Satanism would be the opposite but I don't think Christianity or any kind of religion would really function properly with out a villain. Some evil figure that explains why there is so much hatred and self destruction.

Atheists don't buy into the bad movie called religion. So their certainty lies not with Satan or evil but that there is no God. So the whole religion game does not pertain to them. Unfortunately something like 90% of the whole world believes in some sort of higher being and in this day and age it seems like every major conflict that has ever been fought has been on the behalf or fueled by one religious belief or another.

I unfortunately am not certain of either. I think it's sill to hear people go on about how they are for certain. That they know for sure that there is a God and in addition that they know his/her/its will or big plan for everybody in the world.

I guess, deep down, I'm a little jealous of those who follow a religion or are Atheists because they seem to sure of their convictions. That is a major hang up to get out of the way. Better nights of sleep would follow if there wasn't so many different events today and in history that would inspire so much doubt.

So I zone out at work trying to think if there is anything that could convince me of one the other, black or white, Pepsi or Coke which will it be.

I mean if I was Atheist I would probably fumble with the idea of no God would be kind of scary. I grew up with a very religious family so I was indoctrinated very early. There is also that there is no specific concept that I know of that Atheists don't believe in. Ok maybe you don't believe in the Judeo/Christian God and other major religious figures in the world...but the concept is still so vague.

I mean what constitutes a God?

Does God have to be something that creates life? If so then I believe in Mom and Dad since I was born. Oh and I've also believed in my parents Gods...my Grand Parents.

I mean Zues had Chronos my Mom had my Uelo.

What if the criteria for a God? Is it the power to destory? Then we should get on our knees and worship Oppenheimer and his wonderful toys.

Maybe it needs to be just and good and cares for his/her/its servants.

Well, that has not happen. Every culture that has worshipped a God or Gods has been left to fend for themselves one time or another. Christians, Jews, Native Americans, Muslims, Romans, Babylonians, you name it and there has been a point where they needed their God and he didn't show up. There is nothing wrong with that...it just means that maybe this concept of a perfect being with perfect intentions ruling over us in a very imperfect way is one perfect contradiction, but to say there no God depends on ones point of view of what God is.

On the other hand if I was true follower God I don't think the constant contradictions would sit well with me.

A mercyful God punishing those who don't believe properly will be punished.

So a convicted serial killer can find Jesus in jail. Really say he's sorry and make it into heaven.

But some one who lives their lives peacefully and righteously and doesn't believe in Jesus goes to hell forever.

Or the constant land disputes between Jews and Muslims, both who claim that has giving this New Jersey sized parcel of land that they attack each other like wolverines over. Funny enough that both the Muslims and Jews fallow nearly the same Monotheistic philosophy, even sharing some of the same Holidays. The Christians have a long history in of not only being fed to lions, but perpetuating genocide from indigenous Americans, Jews, even having it's own terrorist organization known as the Ku Klux Klan, and what the fuck is the Dali Lama doing in a fucking Mercedes. What happened to the cause of suffering is desire!?!
of

of Then again like I was saying before to completely cancel out the existence of God because how treat each other is a bit hasty.

I mean scientists are searching for the illustrious "God" particle that they hope would give answers on the origins of all mass in the universe. something so small and so simple really be the perfect example of a Universal "God" One that is not bound my human prejudice, morals or logic. It exists so that everything exists and it exists in all of us.

It's like the great George Carlin put it. If there is a God I would worship it would be the sun. It gives all the the things we need to live and it never judges or interferes in our way life.

If George Carlin can say that there is a "God" of sorts well then there could be.

As a human we have always strived to discover the answers to some of the simplest and most difficult questions.

Maybe there was something to that tree of knowledge that Judeo/Christian God tried to protect Adam and Eve from. Maybe he knew that knowledge would drive them insane with questions that perhaps God could not or would not answer.

Maybe the tree of knowledge was the temptation of a life completely independent of God. They say that Eden was a paradise, just like heaven and ignorance is bliss. This is not a coincidence.

Perhaps in this particular story in the Bible Adam and Eve pulled the back the curtain only to reveal that the great Oz was themselves lost in the realization that their lives were their own and the facade could only do so much.

I'm not saying that God is a placebo, but what if the truth was that there is no one looking out for out there in the Universe.

Would faith die?

Is God the hope that lies within us all that there is someone control so we couldn't be responsible for our actions, for our children, for what is expected of us. Or are we just ants screaming into the waves at a midnight shore believing the crashing of the waves are the returned prayers with all the answers rushing towards us. The great response to our inevitable extinction.

I guess I don't believe in God but I can't help thinking there is something out there that just might fit the profile. Who know.

I don't so I won't pretend that I do.

What ever reality TV touches turns to shit.

I like to think that I'm an amateur cook.
I love food and I love the way people get when they eat something they really enjoy (most of the time this joy manifests as a food dance)
I mean the key to world peace is going to be food. No matter who you are everyone has a favorite food.

When someone talks about their favorite food anyone can relate to that kind of excitement it. I know that sometimes it's hard for me because I'm a vegetarian to really relate to everybody's tastes, but I guess that motivates me to introduce some people to what I eat.
I have my own points of view and reasons why I'm a vegetarian. Not that I'm passing judgment on those people who eat meat. It's just not for me.

Anyway before I lose my train thought...
I've always watched cooking shows from Julia Child and the Frugal Gourmet when I was young. I was fascinated with so many different ingredients coming together to make such delicious food. I loved the fact that food spoke out like a song or movie, every feeling was reflected with ingredients and ingenuity of the meal. Cooking was a canvas in which the Chef or Cook could convey their gastronomical master pieces that ranged from insanely expensive aged meats and cheeses to simple everyday snack foods.
You can taste the love.
Then the Gods blessed my mild obsession with a cable channel.
And God spoke and named the channel "Foodnetwork" and it was good.

Good, It was fucking Great.
I had never seen so many chefs so many different styles of cooking. I was over whelmed


Good Eats with Alton Brown is and will always be one of the defining moments when I truly wanted to learn how to cook. He melded rocket science with grill cheese sandwiches, revealing the secrets on what makes oil and eggs into mayonnaise and why a pan of water is so important for making the perfect cheesecakes.
I thought that is was Christmas all over. Then came "Everyday Italian" and "Barefoot Contessa" which made the camera a more personal element in cooking. Who knew the closer you filmed the food you were preparing the more appetizing it made it.
Now, I though that this could not get any better...but it did.
The greatest of cooking shows which I personally feel started a huge movement in modern cooking challenges was the one and only.
IRON CHEFS (Japanese)

This is the Pièce de résistance of all food shows. Yes it was kitschy and it had all the wonder and goofiness of any other Japanese game show, but this I felt, really put cooking as entertainment with out cheapening it.

Every night for at least 2yrs I wouldn't miss and episode.

All this over exposure to cooking and different cultural foods began to dominate me when I would go to the grocery store. I would pay up the ass for expensive olive oils or over priced wines thinking that this would make me, at least in a mental state, closer to these culinary Gods that I had sold my soul (as well as a lot of my free time) to.

The more and more I watched the more I realized that good ingredients don't have to be the most expensive. It was freshest and best quality that mattered.

So every weekend I would try a new dish. Home made sushi, Eggplant Parmesan, Sun dried tomato caprice salad sandwiches on home made baguettes, I wanted to cook as much as I could when I could.

The best thing, I realized was how happy I was when I cooked for someone (that's especially hard being an herb around a lot of carnies). I started to understand why some people love to cook. The joy and pride to feed someone literally sustaining some ones life not just with baser sustenance but a meal that you put love into (not that kind of love) was incredibly satisfying.

I know that with today's hustle and bustle lifestyle it's hard to sit down and cook a good meal. Especially when the chef is Boyardee and your hungry now!

It's sad that this ever growing society built on speed and instant gratification slowly loses the little things that makes life worth wild. Still there is always hope. Men try to show off their chops on the grill while many women had to deal with a tradition of being the official cook wether they liked it or not. I learned most of what i know from my mom.

Over the years cooking has grown in popularity. Now it's not unusual for people to recognize chef on TV. These culinary masters are now on par with celebrities.

Even the attitude of most chefs have changed. Well not really if you've ever worked in a restaurant kitchen you would see that tempers can flare when the dinner rush comes steamrolling in. I use to think it was about pompous stuffy gourmet chefs eating nothing less than foie gras and truffles every 20 minutes, adorn with medals like generals of the Zagat brigade.

Now there is, I wouldn't say though guy as much as no bullshit chefs. These guys are cultured, professional, and know exactly what to do when there calling the shots in their kitchen. They also don't take shit from any one.

Bourdain is the prime example of this no bullshit movement in the culinary world. I'm sure there are many more out there but Bourdain was the first I've ever heard of. "A cooks tour" was a breath of fresh air for the Food network. He seemed like the kind of guy who wasn't always going to try big restauranteurs' food and politely always give the same acknowledging nod and say how good it was. He's honest about food and those who bring some of the greatest dishes to life.

In "A Cooks Tour" (show not the book) I loved watching him reveal how most chefs who wouldn't compromise taste in any fashion eat your average junk every night after work. I'm sure the fatigue and cooking all night would make any one not want to see kitchen for at least week.

But Bourdain keeps the message simple and the menu even simpler as he goes globe trotting in search for that real hole in the wall that serves some of the best food any one has ever had. It's funny I'm practically kissing this guys ass and if he knew I was a vegetarian he'd probably tell me to fuck off. Yes, Anthony Bourdain is no lover of vegetarians even calling vegans "the hezbollah" of the veggie movement.

I personally thinks it's funny he's a great writer and chef.
Then there is Gordon Ramsay...what can I say about Gordon Ramsay that hasn't already been said about the Atom bomb. Genius and none shall survive his wrath, want to talk about no bullshit chef...I believe that if bullshit like anti-matter came in contact with Ramsay he'll just explode which he often does... constantly... always.

Sometimes I think it's unfortunate for Ramsay. Most of the time he isn't allowed to show his skills in the Kitchen, he is however given free reign when it come to tearing a person a new asshole.

Unfortunately, this misappropriation of verbal beatings compared to cooking skill leaves an opening for an abomination that can only be found on TV.

Food Network has gone down the same road that so many mindless TV networks have gone down. It has been bitten with the reality TV bug.

It still has a bunch of good cooking shows and great chefs but slowly and this happens with almost every channel, it begins with one or two simple harmless reality contest shows like "Chopped" and "The Next Foodnetwork Stars" then it grows in to the contemporary obsession... humiliation and acts of public degradation. I mean Fox jumped that gun with "Hells Kitchen"(funny enough it stars Gordon Ramsay and Bravo has "Top Chef"

Reality television has become a zoo for the severely brain damaged. Every show exists to exhibit the human condition at it's most rediculous. There is a special place in hell for the producers of these shows. Hopefully it is and endless lollapalooza staring David Hasselhoff for all eternity followed by Sharon Osbourne greatest calls in "So you think have Hemorrhoids"

I guess it's that feeling of watching someone getting in trouble, standing by and saying "Shit, I'm glad that's not me."

I don't know what this unstoppable fetish is with watching others get shitted on. We're a nation with a sever case of Schadenfreude. Something about watching others suffer give so many the voyeur hard on and now it seems they're putting shit on my plate.

No thank you... I'll just make something when I get home.

Chi wiz this sucks

I've never been a spiritual person.
I guess all those years of Christians shoving their buckets of hypocritical bullshit down my throat has left full yet foul mouthed.
Then there is always the shining examples of how well the Jews and the Muslims treat each other especially in the "Holy Land".
Nothing is like watching the birthplace of I guess would have been a kind, accepting and loving man's birthplace become a war zone.
Then again how do I know Jesus was such a good guy. I mean he never committed to Mary Magdalen, never told guys who wrote the Bible to quit referring her as a "whore", and I would be pist if my Dad let me die on a cross then sent me to his Nemesis so I could get the shit kicked and raped out of me.
I would have liked to seen that home coming.
Hey Son, I hope your not mad at your dear ole' Dad I just wanted to save all these neandratals from the horrible deeds they did.
What, Well they haven't completely changed their ways...well...ok they didn't.
No, their still trying rob, rape and kill each other, but look at the bright side. They wear that Roman torture device that you died on around thier necks.
Why?
Because they love you.
How could someone be so sadistic?
I don't know? Ask your mother.
(And scene)
Then there are the Shintoists...don't get me started about the Shintoists. What are they hiding? Despite what they actually believe in...because fuck if I know. (I do know it has something to do with Final Fantasy 7)
I jest (no I don't) but there are spiritual principles that I believe in.
For one there is Karma. I believe in Karma because in a scientific point of view. I have witnessed it.
Nothing like an ex-girl/boyfriend getting fucked over in the same matter they had fucked you over. It's especially sweet when they call you up to tell you about it.
I know I give this a negative context but good Karma happens too.
There is a saying about Karma that unfortunately is true when one is wronged on our daily walk in life.
"Karma is just justice without the satisfaction" James Caan in Way of the Gun.

The other, even though I bash this book a very good amount, is found in the Bible.
"Do onto others what you would have done onto your self."
Great philosiphy from a religion who has inspired millions to follow a moral code that stands truer to "Do as I say not as I do"

I was originally was going to speak about the Chi and how it some one messes with one's Chi it can throw one off balance for the rest of the day.
Instead all I did was complain.
Typical.

A Puerto Rican Judge!!! There goes the Judicial System

I was originally going to post something about my love for cosplay instead I find my self forced to comment on what is going on in Washington.
So, it looks like we will finally have Latina in the Supreme Court. Who thought I would see the day.
I'm not surprised that during questioning of Sotomayor the most prevalent question to be asked would be of race. Every Republican jumped around or just plowed the future judge with race based questions.
Ms Sotomayor was part of a decision that denied a promotion for some Connecticut fire fighters due to the fact that no black fire fighters passed the test.
Now weather or not the tests were bias or that the black firefighters just couldn't hack the test. I have now idea.
What I do know is that racism is still alive and well.
I'm not saying if you disagree with Sotomayor's decision you're instantly a racist.
No, that isn't it at all.
I haven't read the whole case so I don't know for sure if she was right or wrong about this decision.
Still, to watch so many Right wing supporters go on and on about a decision that prevented a group of firefighters from getting a raise.
This is not a decision that put an individual in prison for life. This decision did not let a convicted child molester go free. This decision, for what ever reason, has become a soap box for scared, rich white men in politics.
Rush Limbaugh goes on and on how Sotomayor is nothing but a bigot just waiting for her to let some child rapists go free in local preschools so long as they are a minority.
I don't know if its funny or ironic to watch some fat, drug addict who has based an entire career on being a bigoted piece of shit like Rush turn around and start calling others racists.
Is it really that scary?
Is it heart stopping thinking about some one who busted their ass in Brooklyn to become a Supreme Court judge.
They one thing that has come to light, the real scary thing that has reared its ugly head is that ever since Obama and Sotomayor came into the political scene...it has all been about race.
Rush Limbaugh and that douche bag Senator from South Carolina have done nothing but expose themselves and the bigots they are.
I swear if I hear that fuck face Lindsey Graham ask one more question about Sotomayors temperament I'm going to lose it.
Just come out and say it.
You hot blooded Mexicans will put every gringo in jail.
What?
I thought Puerto Rico was a part of Mexico or maybe Cuba who knows?
Yes it's true as a Latino we do have a mission to take over the United States.
I have to admit this because it's to late for the white people to stop us. This mission has been in motion since Columbus discovered the West Indies. This mission has been passed from generation to generation.
Operation: Oye Papo adonde esta los frijoles?
Well despite this charade that is just a huge waste of tax payer's time, she will be the first Hispanic women to ever hold a seat in the Supreme Court. Personally, I'm very proud to see this. I'm half Puerto Rican and to see this makes me proud. My Great Grandmother came here during the Depression and busted her ass to get her family here from Puerto Rico. It's good to see that we (and by we I mean Latinos) aren't just mechanics or cleaning ladies. We are Americans just like so many others that occupy this land. We may be diffrent and loud but we are worth getting to know because this is just another step closer to being...just like everyone else.

Exorcism? Dam near killed him!!!

Homosexuality.
For some reason the practice of one man fucking another man outside of the confines of a state prison has scared society since it's conception.
Why?
I don't fucking know?
But it's scary as well as funny every time I see the reactions and "solutions" to this horrible plague that has infested this great planet of ours.
So there is a huge buzz about this video on Youtube that some church in Connecticut had uploaded.
The video takes place at a black church where a priest, priest's wife and some deacons all take turns trying to exorcise a demon of homosexuality.
Maybe not a demon of homosexuality...lets just say a gay demon.
I mean lets be honest, I don't mind those who have become possessed by demons...just as long as they are straight demons. I can't emphasize this enough. Anyhoo...



So for nine minutes this grainy low budget home movie of what looks to be a gang feel up on some teen having a seizure, is suppose to spiritually expel these "gay demons" from this teen who is suspected of being gay.
(Quick hint: this teen isn't going to make his break on Broadway with acting like that.)
Unfortunately, the end of the video is cut off so I never get to see if the boy is cured and what a gay demon looks like.

Thank God that finally religious zealots have found away to be rid of something they don't understand...They've already mastered the exorcising of reason and logic, it was just a natural progression.
I can't wait till their next video when they wrestle some Paleontologists to the ground and exorcise that bullshit story about evolution and that dinosaurs were not being used as vehicles for cavemen.
I guess even as I make light of this situation to be very honest...it really scares me.
Has it come down to this. Have so many people giving up on finding their own way in life that they approach any lifestyle that they do not understand with the reasoning and intelligence they would use to fight off a wizard or unicorn.
This is the 21st Century and yes I'm upset that there are no flying cars but have so many become so codependent on God that they've given up on thinking for them selves.
I know that everyone has a gay cousin or uncle or aunt. Everybody is less than 4 degrees away form some one who is gay, lesbian, or trans gender and I'm suppose to believe that this lifestyle is so alien so..."fiendish" that no one can see the human behind the well oiled chest and rainbow flag.
If there is a God in heaven I would like to know which is his favorite gay child.
My guess...Buddy Cole.

Key West and Family ties.

This has been a great bonding experience.
For the first time in a long time a family outing wasn't obligation or a fucking chore.
It was (shall I dare say) fun and relaxing. I know that parents just don't understand (I swore there was song based on this observation) when you're younger but as time goes by things just change.
I remember all the bullshit arguing and rage that my parents would inspire in me. There were times that I wish I hadn't known them at all except to pay for my outstanding therapy bills.
Now, after all the teenage angst and the yelling and the fighting is done and gone.
It feels great.
I never realized how much I love my family until we went on that Key West trip.
My parents have become more gentle and easier to talk to.
I know that my Dad's visit to the doctor that said he had skin cancer (benign not malignant) those couple of weeks really scared the shit out of me.
I mean I had enough of a fucking breakdown when Danny was in Iraq. Then this...I was about to fucking lose it.
These events have giving me perspective a focused vision that I need to snap the fuck out of this isolationist funk and keep in contact with the ones I love.
That is a rant for another time.
The trip however was great. It has been such a long time since we were all together (well not all Manny will be kidnapped the next time we go off and hang out.) like one big dysfunctional family.
Lude and rude jokes, poking fun at each other and getting trashed.
I don't think I've really sat down and had a drink with my father, but I did last weekend and it was great. We talked so much shit about so many different things.
I really am proud to be part of this family. I love my family more than I know and it is great to finally realize this.

God has it in for celebrities!!!

The lord has it in for celebrities. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and the great (the bizarre) Michael Jackson.
I'm not happy that these people have died I guess I'm just surprised to see this many famous people eat it so close to each other. Especially the fact that McMahon and Fawcett's passing will be completely eclipsed by Jackson.
It's sad to see that one persons death is deemed more important. There are millions of people dieing everyday, in cancer wards, Iraq, even on subway tracks. Their names last for less than a millisecond and fade into the void while Michael Jackson is a step away from being an ordained Pop Saint.
Don't get me wrong I love his music but this is why I really never want to meet my heroes.
You might find out that they are just as or more fucked up as you or me.
Not to say that Jackson was my heroe. I love his music I just wished I didn't really know anything about him. It just over shadows his music. Then again I'm just really pissed that George Carlin didn't get his own national holiday.
I'm definately going to miss him.
Now they are dead and may they rest in peace.
Hell, I can hear McMahon now.
"For most gratuitous media coverage of ones death"
Fawcett gets 3 stars
I get 3 and one quarter stars
and Mr. Jackson gets...
4 stars!!!
Thank You ladies and gentlemen this is were I get off.