Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I have such baby soft skin to ever be a comdian.

I always tried to make people laugh. I don't think I'm that funny but I know for a fact my weird sense of humor has definitely gotten me out trouble during my Jr. High days.
I've had people who have said that maybe I should get on stage one day for open mic, but I know there is a huge difference making a bunch of friends who are drunk laugh and making an audience laugh, especially for your first time.
I'm sure one day I'll grow the balls (or drink all of Ireland) and make my break till that dream day.
I have to contend with the fear of dealing with comedic peers. This doesn't sound that ban...unless you were fortunate to watch the self-esteem slaughter house which was The Joan Rivers Roast on Comedy Central.
I have never seen the such a crucifixion in super slow-motion before. I'm not saying the roast was bad far from it but it was brutal. I haven't heard jokes that fucked since I saw that movie The Aristocrats.
I do not have that thick of skin. I would've had to skin a couple of neighbors just prevent from shitting myself from just watching.
Gilbert Godfrey I would have to say was the true star of the roast. What came out of this squinty-eyed mother fuckers mouth was dam near heart stopping. His routine about how when Robin Quivers (Co-host on the Howard Stern Show) father would molest her he secretly was thinking about molesting her sister. My groin tightened up like a soccer player had mistaken my balls for the winning shot of the World Cup.
Holy shit, every comedian that had the honor of saying a little something about Joan Rivers was on fire about setting this woman on fire. I have to say Joan Rivers is the best sport in the Universe. She has always made me laugh but the barrage she took that night was like watch the Running of the Bulls except with all the runners strapped down on gynecology stirrups facing the bulls. Even when Joan Rivers came up to thank her guests. She tore into these kids like baby seals. No one walked out of that Roast with the same numbers of assholes they walked in with.
It was like a gladiatorial fight, entertaining with a lot of blood loss, but I guess it showed how tough comedians really are. Fuck mixed martial arts or even gunshots. Nothing hits hard like insult-comedy. They cut deep, hard, and constantly and these comedians walked it off like it was a summer breeze. Well, at least that what it looked like on the TV.
This was no holds bard entertainment...I just hate to see what the natural progression will be for "the roast". The new and improved roast will be a short monologue followed by someone pouring battery acid in the eyes of the guest of honor while he or she is gang raped by the audience. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard while during a state of shock. It was worth every cringing minute.
That's comedy folks and it hurts while it heals.

1 comment:

  1. being a comedian is tough work! it's one thing to be funny (although I think thats hard too) but then to also be able to make fun of yourself so much so that you become impenetrable. maybe thats why joan rivers has had so much plastic surgery? keep herself in a permanent smile so people cant see how hurt she is? :\ lol alright i dunno either. still... if you wanted to you could totally do it :)