So I'm writing again.
This is how it must be for my sanity and no one else.
From my last entry, I have to say that I was lost in an emotional whirl wind of shit.
It's funny how you can put so much emphasis on one person that you forget that your own self worth. Hell, you even forget you have a life. It may not be a James Bond life style of non stop action, but it is still your own.
I had forgotten this. i had forgotten myself.
Ferris Buller said it best. If you don't pay attention, life can pass you by.
He wasn't fucking around.
For the past six months I felt that I took one emotional back breaking blow after another. Sitting at home wallowing in a self made septic tank of self loathing and regret. Another beer, another cigarette, another reason to beat my self up, This is not who I am. But it happens to the best and worse of us.
I sat there for months torturing myself about some one special to me who had not only moved on, but was married and a family on the way.
Oppenheimer couldn't make closure this...efficient.
But life goes on.
This is a statement that was lost to me for a very long time. I couldn't let go, however there is no choice like the one you don't have.
So the feet must move. The journey must continue, regardless of how you feel or perceive yourself.
There must me motion, you must tredge through the trenches.
That which does not kill you, Gets you ready for the next event that will.
I can hack it.
I always do.
I'm stronger than what i give myself credit for.
And I can not be denied the talents that come from within.
New Dawns new days
Some start with sun, some start with rain.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
A year later and my world has turned to shit.
I'm very lucky no one follows my blog. It has been too long since I've written here but it's the only sanctuary I have left.
The amount of venting I need to do, is something that I wish not to burden my friends with. I've done enough to pester them with my half-ass self inflicted dramas.
Where do I begin. about 6 months ago my Aunt was diagnosed with cancer. She is an Aunt that is so in line with my upbringing that I can't remember a time with out her. My uncle, god bless his soul, fought with her and by the graces of some omni present being that cares nothing for children, she is recovering.
She is alive and bearing the scars of a gladiator that refuses to roll over at what was deemed a losing battle. God is with her and she lives her life anew. A symbol of strength and resilience. I love and cherish her and happy she had won out.
Then there are the tragedies. I lost my long time companion Shinobi who had succumbed to kidney failure. He was more than a cat to me. He had been through 13 yrs of my life. And we shared so much. I miss everyday. I hear his meow before I sleep. I miss ability to vanish and reappear with the stealth that gave him his name. I miss his green eyes and his friendly demeanor. He was loved by so many. I will miss him so much. I have to spread his ashes. Today will be that day. I love you Mister Mister.
The greatest loss I've experienced was my dearest friend Abbey. It would be 2 years ago that she had passed and if there was ever a time I needed her more would be now. Her absence has left a chasm that cannot be replaced. She had changed so many for the good. A blinding touch of wisdom and grace that surpasses glory in a way that all are blessed to have just spent a moment with her.
If there was ever a time I needed her most. Is now. I miss you my dear Abbey. May the Gods treat you right, or I'll destroy every last one of them. Go in peace and know that my love will never diminish, never wain. I hope one day we meet again. I do miss our talks.
Then came more...
I was in a relationship with someone very special. So special that I took it for granted. I never allowed it to flourish. My depression and self destruction had set in motion a demise I never though would rattle this bad. It was a relationship that had very weird beginnings. Awkward and slow, but grew strong. A bond that is still alive today, but not as one. Not anymore.
I was with my dear Pris for 5 1/2 years. Everyday was a marvel of ecstasy a happiness that I have never though possible. She loved me. She honestly and whole heartily loved me, and I loved her. I could not picture a day with out her smile, her dreams, her term oil and her joy. Alas, like all engagements of love in my life. I had destroyed it. My complacency and frigid treatment of her had smothered this once great love that we possessed. I smothered it like a kitten, holding it under water until its death rattle became calm. All is not a calm. All is not good. I miss her more now than ever.
She has found love in a new pair of arms, a new set of eyes and she is happy. I am happy for her. I truly am.
I have never met a person that has given so much of herself in everything that she does. Her intelligence, compassion and drive are none that I've seen before. It's like being in orbit of the sun. Illuminating with all the glories of the universe; A force so powerful it bends time and space. I am lucky to know her and have the ability to call her friend, but Losing her has become my greatest regret. A badge of shame that I will bear for the rest of my life.
This has been my year.
My year of shit.
The amount of venting I need to do, is something that I wish not to burden my friends with. I've done enough to pester them with my half-ass self inflicted dramas.
Where do I begin. about 6 months ago my Aunt was diagnosed with cancer. She is an Aunt that is so in line with my upbringing that I can't remember a time with out her. My uncle, god bless his soul, fought with her and by the graces of some omni present being that cares nothing for children, she is recovering.
She is alive and bearing the scars of a gladiator that refuses to roll over at what was deemed a losing battle. God is with her and she lives her life anew. A symbol of strength and resilience. I love and cherish her and happy she had won out.
Then there are the tragedies. I lost my long time companion Shinobi who had succumbed to kidney failure. He was more than a cat to me. He had been through 13 yrs of my life. And we shared so much. I miss everyday. I hear his meow before I sleep. I miss ability to vanish and reappear with the stealth that gave him his name. I miss his green eyes and his friendly demeanor. He was loved by so many. I will miss him so much. I have to spread his ashes. Today will be that day. I love you Mister Mister.
The greatest loss I've experienced was my dearest friend Abbey. It would be 2 years ago that she had passed and if there was ever a time I needed her more would be now. Her absence has left a chasm that cannot be replaced. She had changed so many for the good. A blinding touch of wisdom and grace that surpasses glory in a way that all are blessed to have just spent a moment with her.
If there was ever a time I needed her most. Is now. I miss you my dear Abbey. May the Gods treat you right, or I'll destroy every last one of them. Go in peace and know that my love will never diminish, never wain. I hope one day we meet again. I do miss our talks.
Then came more...
I was in a relationship with someone very special. So special that I took it for granted. I never allowed it to flourish. My depression and self destruction had set in motion a demise I never though would rattle this bad. It was a relationship that had very weird beginnings. Awkward and slow, but grew strong. A bond that is still alive today, but not as one. Not anymore.
I was with my dear Pris for 5 1/2 years. Everyday was a marvel of ecstasy a happiness that I have never though possible. She loved me. She honestly and whole heartily loved me, and I loved her. I could not picture a day with out her smile, her dreams, her term oil and her joy. Alas, like all engagements of love in my life. I had destroyed it. My complacency and frigid treatment of her had smothered this once great love that we possessed. I smothered it like a kitten, holding it under water until its death rattle became calm. All is not a calm. All is not good. I miss her more now than ever.
She has found love in a new pair of arms, a new set of eyes and she is happy. I am happy for her. I truly am.
I have never met a person that has given so much of herself in everything that she does. Her intelligence, compassion and drive are none that I've seen before. It's like being in orbit of the sun. Illuminating with all the glories of the universe; A force so powerful it bends time and space. I am lucky to know her and have the ability to call her friend, but Losing her has become my greatest regret. A badge of shame that I will bear for the rest of my life.
This has been my year.
My year of shit.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
So begins a long journey in what I really want to do with my life!
So last weekend I went to Sarasota to see Vanessa Del Rey final thesis at Ringling College of Art and Design. Now to say that I had a religious experience is an understatement.
I went to the Ringling thesis last year to see the thesis's of Chez Gomez, Keyla Valerio andVicki Price. Both shows were amazing, but this recent show in particular was a whole lot more personal. You see, Vanessa had decided to illustrate one of my stories for her thesis. When she told me this, even though it was against the thesis process, she did it anyway. She's very determined when she want's something. So when she finally finished up for thesis I couldn't wait to see what she had done.
When I got there I was amazed at the kind of talent is coming out of that school. Ringling is the equivalent to a Ninja Dojo. The best of the best go to this school and when they get out. It's hard to properly describe how fucking mind boggling, jaw droopingly, absolutely gob smacked, sucked through worm hole and vomited in a universe made of beer sprinklers and nicotine laden kitties, amazing these artists are. On top of the fact that one of these "divine" artist wanted to do a piece I wrote. I know that it was just a school project and I know it's not published work, but it was just what I needed to give purpose to my endless ramblings and yarns that I spin.
I have to admit seeing the Consuming Pleasure pages hung on the wall and the books being given away. I couldn't be in a more perfect place and in a more perfect state of mind.
The best thing about all of this.
It's only the beginning.
So please check out the master herself Vanessa R. Del Rey @ vanedelrey@blogspot.com.
Oh and I forgot to add enjoy Ms. Del Rey's thesis
http://vanedelrey.blogspot.com/2011/05/finale.html
I went to the Ringling thesis last year to see the thesis's of Chez Gomez, Keyla Valerio andVicki Price. Both shows were amazing, but this recent show in particular was a whole lot more personal. You see, Vanessa had decided to illustrate one of my stories for her thesis. When she told me this, even though it was against the thesis process, she did it anyway. She's very determined when she want's something. So when she finally finished up for thesis I couldn't wait to see what she had done.
When I got there I was amazed at the kind of talent is coming out of that school. Ringling is the equivalent to a Ninja Dojo. The best of the best go to this school and when they get out. It's hard to properly describe how fucking mind boggling, jaw droopingly, absolutely gob smacked, sucked through worm hole and vomited in a universe made of beer sprinklers and nicotine laden kitties, amazing these artists are. On top of the fact that one of these "divine" artist wanted to do a piece I wrote. I know that it was just a school project and I know it's not published work, but it was just what I needed to give purpose to my endless ramblings and yarns that I spin.
I have to admit seeing the Consuming Pleasure pages hung on the wall and the books being given away. I couldn't be in a more perfect place and in a more perfect state of mind.
The best thing about all of this.
It's only the beginning.
So please check out the master herself Vanessa R. Del Rey @ vanedelrey@blogspot.com.
Oh and I forgot to add enjoy Ms. Del Rey's thesis
http://vanedelrey.blogspot.com/2011/05/finale.html
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Top 10 Comics you should've read...if not...read them please
So I promised a long while ago that I was going to write a blog about the top 10 comics every one should read.
Well that idea went down the tubes when I realized that there is no way in hell I could limit so many great comics to just ten.
There are so many great stories and too see those stories come to life with some of the best artists ever to put brush, pen, and pencil to paper.
I've been reading and collecting comics since I was a kid, and i honestly can not see how I could pigeon hole so many works of art. These windows of super feats would drive me to keep walking in the oppressive Miami sun just to see if the next Dark Horse Presents. Waiting for what seemed like an eternity for the bus to show up so I could take a hour ride to the other side of town just to rummage through the endless rows of boxes in hopes to finding some more undiscovered 2D worlds of heroes and villains. Every title a new universe of good vs evil, another cog on the gears of moral dilemma that moved the machine of conflict.
These worlds held names of faces that live so close to our hearts like the very Gods that most people worship in real life.
I could go on for days about the subject of graphic novels and comic books but it's time to get to the list.
There is a clause to this list. This list will be an open ended list, because for every comic I mention I know that I'm completely leaving out a really important one. So as I grow with more reading and appreciating I'll keep adding, but for now here is what I got so far.
PS This list is not in order of better and best. This is just a list of what i feel everyone should enjoy. Let's begin.
1. The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller
The Dark Knight Returns is one of the two comics that not only changed the way I looked at Batman but in comics in general. It was a growing pain from the campy and safe comics of my youth. Frank Miller took Batman and made him old, forgotten, and even more cynical than a Chuck Palahniuk story. The old image of Batman was gone. No more "ole chum" or Super friend anecdotes. This was a very brutal and angry cop doing what ever it took to tame the chaotic jungle of Gotham City. This, to me, was the first of Batman's transitions to the very earnest hero he has become.
2.Arkham Asylum by Dave McKean and Grant Morrison
Since, I'm still stuck on the Batman. I'll have to talk about the second comic that changed, but also ruined comics for me. Now understand when i say ruined, I don't mean I hated comics after reading Arkham. What I mean is that I couldn't settle anymore. Thanks to Dave McKean, comic books could be art pieces. I finally read a book that i could frame one of the pages and hang it on the wall and be taken seriously as work of art.
The story really picks at the fragile psyche of the man who wears a bat costume to a battle that he lost years ago. The scene in which Batman is having a word association exerciser that reveals some of the many weaknesses of The Dark Knight. Batman may have muscles and gadgets but the thin line between sanity and insanity is pushed farther and farther with every turn of the page.
3. The Push Man and Other Stories by Yoshihiro Tatsumi
Yoshihiro Tatsumi takes the under belly of post-war Japan and exposes it like a back alley abortion performed on Broadway. These tales of debasement have saturated every part of this collection. Stories of humanity, not only at its worse but at its most indifferent. This book will make you question the true worth of the human race and if there are any redeemable traits to be found at all. I couldn't recommend this graphic novel more. It will disturb you, but in a horrible way.
4.Lone Wolf and Cub by Kasuo Koike and Goseki Kojima
I'll stay on the island of the rising sun and meditate on the Lone Wolf and Cub. This long lasting series is in revenge. This story of a disgraced executioner of the Shogun who, along with his young son, must travel across the the nation of Japan to find and destroy the Yagyu clan. The long road in which Ogami Itto trudges through is soaked in blood and bodies and nothing can stop this stoic figure from his goal even it costs his or his son's life. This comic really changed the face of Japanese comics for me.
I always thought that all comics from Japan were Anime or something equivalent. When I first heard of this was actually through the movies that were made in the 70's. This story really touched on a side of Japanese "Manga" that is often forgotten behind of a curtain of doe eyed school girls and cat/Pamela Anderson hybrids.
5.Ghost in the Shell by Masamune Shirow
Now, I know that this graphic novel is more Manga that the previous two, but I feel the story transcends the silly of most Manga comics. The story is about a Major Kusinagi who is employed buy a CIA type anti-terrorist government organization that secures Japan from hidden menaces that threaten the Japanese way of life. Now, yes this graphic novel has a doe eyed,very voluptuous scantly-clad heroine, but the subplot of the story has become an obsession for me lately. Even TIME magazine called the eventual convergence of the human mind and computers as the "singularity". I was completely blown away by the dialogue between two cyborgs trying to define what humanity is and the fundamental difference between organic and inorganic based life. What is sentient life? If something, regardless if it is human or machine, becomes self aware can its life and thoughts be equal to a human even though it is artificial intelligence. This is a must. It has the action, sexual undertones, and in depth philosophy that isn't watered down by the guns and the boobs...well, maybe a little.
6.Hard Boiled by Frank Miller and Geoff Darrow
Now I a good Frank Miller Story, but these books are all Geoff Darrow. The art work in this book is a testament to the say that the "devil is in the details". To this day I'm still finding little tid-bits in every panel. I couldn't recommend this more if I could. Agoraphobia never had so much talent.
7. Ghost World by Daniel Clowes
Daniel Clowes is an incredible observer of the human condition. Ghost world is an incredible example of teenage angst with out it devolving into a mainstream homogenized Hannah Montana nightmare. Instead it really touches on sincere subjects that all of had to trudge through. Then moment when High School dies and adulthood comes a clawing.
8.Black Hole by Charles Burns
Charles Burns takes puberty and those awkward changes to a higher more disturbing level. A young woman coming to terms with boys, school, and life. The only difference is, teens are mutating. So growing into young adult has gotten even tougher and uglier, and life waits for no one no matter how deformed you are.
9 Cerebus, High Society by Dave Sim
I always considered Cerebus my highbrow, dry humor books. I've never got into the whole "fantasy" comics but Cerebus has a different approach. Out of all the books my favorite has to be High Society. High Society really gets the dishonest shady side of politics. Now I know the idea of a barbarian aardvark running for Prime Minister may sound a bit unconventional but there is nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to the corruption that comes with money, women, power, and hard ale. These read really does help with the Napoleon complex.
10.The Contract with God Trilogy by Will Eisner
There is a good reason why there is an Eisner award. Will Eisner is the best storyteller in comics ever. With stories like Dropsie Ave. that is a fast forward through s micro history of a street in New York. Dropsie Ave. is a racial, social and economical testament to the changing times in this small New York neighborhood. Will Eisner pulls no punches. The city is an uncaring and yet nurturing background that exposes the human condition in all its self destructive imperfections. Eisner embraces the fact that people can be equally cruel as well as benevolent. The Contract with God is another feature of the time honored near death practice of bargaining with God. Then A Life Force which is what it is. A cruel and relentless barrage of very harsh lessons of life. This is life, this is what Aliens will study about us. A fucked mammal with its never game of Russian roulette. This graphic novel from a master of his craft is not only an inspiration but proof that comics are not just for kids and should never taken taken for granted in any artistic and literary capacity.
So in this opened list of the Top 10 Comics You Should've Read. These are what i have so far. Now I know I left out a ton of really good books but I'll get to them and the best thing about this list. I have to keep collecting and reading until I get this definitive list done.
Cross I have to bare.
Well that idea went down the tubes when I realized that there is no way in hell I could limit so many great comics to just ten.
There are so many great stories and too see those stories come to life with some of the best artists ever to put brush, pen, and pencil to paper.
I've been reading and collecting comics since I was a kid, and i honestly can not see how I could pigeon hole so many works of art. These windows of super feats would drive me to keep walking in the oppressive Miami sun just to see if the next Dark Horse Presents. Waiting for what seemed like an eternity for the bus to show up so I could take a hour ride to the other side of town just to rummage through the endless rows of boxes in hopes to finding some more undiscovered 2D worlds of heroes and villains. Every title a new universe of good vs evil, another cog on the gears of moral dilemma that moved the machine of conflict.
These worlds held names of faces that live so close to our hearts like the very Gods that most people worship in real life.
I could go on for days about the subject of graphic novels and comic books but it's time to get to the list.
There is a clause to this list. This list will be an open ended list, because for every comic I mention I know that I'm completely leaving out a really important one. So as I grow with more reading and appreciating I'll keep adding, but for now here is what I got so far.
PS This list is not in order of better and best. This is just a list of what i feel everyone should enjoy. Let's begin.
1. The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller
The Dark Knight Returns is one of the two comics that not only changed the way I looked at Batman but in comics in general. It was a growing pain from the campy and safe comics of my youth. Frank Miller took Batman and made him old, forgotten, and even more cynical than a Chuck Palahniuk story. The old image of Batman was gone. No more "ole chum" or Super friend anecdotes. This was a very brutal and angry cop doing what ever it took to tame the chaotic jungle of Gotham City. This, to me, was the first of Batman's transitions to the very earnest hero he has become.
2.Arkham Asylum by Dave McKean and Grant Morrison
Since, I'm still stuck on the Batman. I'll have to talk about the second comic that changed, but also ruined comics for me. Now understand when i say ruined, I don't mean I hated comics after reading Arkham. What I mean is that I couldn't settle anymore. Thanks to Dave McKean, comic books could be art pieces. I finally read a book that i could frame one of the pages and hang it on the wall and be taken seriously as work of art.
The story really picks at the fragile psyche of the man who wears a bat costume to a battle that he lost years ago. The scene in which Batman is having a word association exerciser that reveals some of the many weaknesses of The Dark Knight. Batman may have muscles and gadgets but the thin line between sanity and insanity is pushed farther and farther with every turn of the page.
3. The Push Man and Other Stories by Yoshihiro Tatsumi
Yoshihiro Tatsumi takes the under belly of post-war Japan and exposes it like a back alley abortion performed on Broadway. These tales of debasement have saturated every part of this collection. Stories of humanity, not only at its worse but at its most indifferent. This book will make you question the true worth of the human race and if there are any redeemable traits to be found at all. I couldn't recommend this graphic novel more. It will disturb you, but in a horrible way.
4.Lone Wolf and Cub by Kasuo Koike and Goseki Kojima
I'll stay on the island of the rising sun and meditate on the Lone Wolf and Cub. This long lasting series is in revenge. This story of a disgraced executioner of the Shogun who, along with his young son, must travel across the the nation of Japan to find and destroy the Yagyu clan. The long road in which Ogami Itto trudges through is soaked in blood and bodies and nothing can stop this stoic figure from his goal even it costs his or his son's life. This comic really changed the face of Japanese comics for me.
I always thought that all comics from Japan were Anime or something equivalent. When I first heard of this was actually through the movies that were made in the 70's. This story really touched on a side of Japanese "Manga" that is often forgotten behind of a curtain of doe eyed school girls and cat/Pamela Anderson hybrids.
5.Ghost in the Shell by Masamune Shirow
Now, I know that this graphic novel is more Manga that the previous two, but I feel the story transcends the silly of most Manga comics. The story is about a Major Kusinagi who is employed buy a CIA type anti-terrorist government organization that secures Japan from hidden menaces that threaten the Japanese way of life. Now, yes this graphic novel has a doe eyed,very voluptuous scantly-clad heroine, but the subplot of the story has become an obsession for me lately. Even TIME magazine called the eventual convergence of the human mind and computers as the "singularity". I was completely blown away by the dialogue between two cyborgs trying to define what humanity is and the fundamental difference between organic and inorganic based life. What is sentient life? If something, regardless if it is human or machine, becomes self aware can its life and thoughts be equal to a human even though it is artificial intelligence. This is a must. It has the action, sexual undertones, and in depth philosophy that isn't watered down by the guns and the boobs...well, maybe a little.
6.Hard Boiled by Frank Miller and Geoff Darrow
Now I a good Frank Miller Story, but these books are all Geoff Darrow. The art work in this book is a testament to the say that the "devil is in the details". To this day I'm still finding little tid-bits in every panel. I couldn't recommend this more if I could. Agoraphobia never had so much talent.
7. Ghost World by Daniel Clowes
Daniel Clowes is an incredible observer of the human condition. Ghost world is an incredible example of teenage angst with out it devolving into a mainstream homogenized Hannah Montana nightmare. Instead it really touches on sincere subjects that all of had to trudge through. Then moment when High School dies and adulthood comes a clawing.
8.Black Hole by Charles Burns
Charles Burns takes puberty and those awkward changes to a higher more disturbing level. A young woman coming to terms with boys, school, and life. The only difference is, teens are mutating. So growing into young adult has gotten even tougher and uglier, and life waits for no one no matter how deformed you are.
9 Cerebus, High Society by Dave Sim
I always considered Cerebus my highbrow, dry humor books. I've never got into the whole "fantasy" comics but Cerebus has a different approach. Out of all the books my favorite has to be High Society. High Society really gets the dishonest shady side of politics. Now I know the idea of a barbarian aardvark running for Prime Minister may sound a bit unconventional but there is nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to the corruption that comes with money, women, power, and hard ale. These read really does help with the Napoleon complex.
10.The Contract with God Trilogy by Will Eisner
There is a good reason why there is an Eisner award. Will Eisner is the best storyteller in comics ever. With stories like Dropsie Ave. that is a fast forward through s micro history of a street in New York. Dropsie Ave. is a racial, social and economical testament to the changing times in this small New York neighborhood. Will Eisner pulls no punches. The city is an uncaring and yet nurturing background that exposes the human condition in all its self destructive imperfections. Eisner embraces the fact that people can be equally cruel as well as benevolent. The Contract with God is another feature of the time honored near death practice of bargaining with God. Then A Life Force which is what it is. A cruel and relentless barrage of very harsh lessons of life. This is life, this is what Aliens will study about us. A fucked mammal with its never game of Russian roulette. This graphic novel from a master of his craft is not only an inspiration but proof that comics are not just for kids and should never taken taken for granted in any artistic and literary capacity.
So in this opened list of the Top 10 Comics You Should've Read. These are what i have so far. Now I know I left out a ton of really good books but I'll get to them and the best thing about this list. I have to keep collecting and reading until I get this definitive list done.
Cross I have to bare.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Almost almost there.
I know I owe the top 10 comics blog. I will be working on that this weekend, but I just wanted to inform everyone that I should be sharing a web site soon. I've been talking to Vanessa Del Rey about the site and details and hopefully we will have digital comics up soon.
I'm very excited. I can't properly express that short of urinating all over myself.
Trust me it won't be the first or last time that happens. Hear that ladies!?!
I'm just happy to finally get some of my stories out there. So we'll see where this goes.
I'm just content with no longer letting my ideas just sit and collect dust.
Aim high, and I'll see where this craziness leads us.
I'm very excited. I can't properly express that short of urinating all over myself.
Trust me it won't be the first or last time that happens. Hear that ladies!?!
I'm just happy to finally get some of my stories out there. So we'll see where this goes.
I'm just content with no longer letting my ideas just sit and collect dust.
Aim high, and I'll see where this craziness leads us.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The Ball is Rolling Big Time!!!!
So much has happened lately that I don't know where to begin.
I have recently recorded an EP with our band, that funny enough has finally decided on a name.
We're called Belafonte. So I'm excited to see where we go from here musically. Maybe we'll be playing a show soon. I will keep everyone updated and see where we go from here.
I know I still owe an Top 10 Comics you should read list, but March has truly been madness.
I have a lot of projects coming up and I'll post as much as stuff as I can.
I think i may have a reason to keep this blog going...I might actually know why I am saying all this!
I have recently recorded an EP with our band, that funny enough has finally decided on a name.
We're called Belafonte. So I'm excited to see where we go from here musically. Maybe we'll be playing a show soon. I will keep everyone updated and see where we go from here.
I know I still owe an Top 10 Comics you should read list, but March has truly been madness.
I have a lot of projects coming up and I'll post as much as stuff as I can.
I think i may have a reason to keep this blog going...I might actually know why I am saying all this!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Long Time or Better late than never?
It has been an incredibly long time since I've written. Well, at least on this blog.
I've been writing some scripts for a few comic book ideas that I'm doing with some friends. I'm very excited to see how things are coming along and can't wait to get a website up for some digital comic books. The future looks bright so far.
Everything else in life is a steady helping of bullshit with kernels of happiness.
The more that I write the more that I realize that my creativity is my own form of therapy. My mind has its little breakdowns but in return it opens so many doorways of tragedy, wonder, hate, and euphoria that expands my fiction based universe more and more. It's like a having a God complex but being the only kid playing at the sandbox. What the hell did that mean? I don't know either I'm just trying to make a post. Give me a break its been a couple of years.
So I'll conclude this seemingly useless tidbit of information and announce that next week I'm going to post my personal TOP TEN COMICS EVERYONE SHOULD READ AND YOU PROBABLY ALREADY DID.
If you haven't read any of the comics that I post then...FUCKING READ THEM!
You won't be disappointed.
Well thanks for reading and I'll be making more contributions here and the Green Plate Special for all those veggies out there.
Thanks
I've been writing some scripts for a few comic book ideas that I'm doing with some friends. I'm very excited to see how things are coming along and can't wait to get a website up for some digital comic books. The future looks bright so far.
Everything else in life is a steady helping of bullshit with kernels of happiness.
The more that I write the more that I realize that my creativity is my own form of therapy. My mind has its little breakdowns but in return it opens so many doorways of tragedy, wonder, hate, and euphoria that expands my fiction based universe more and more. It's like a having a God complex but being the only kid playing at the sandbox. What the hell did that mean? I don't know either I'm just trying to make a post. Give me a break its been a couple of years.
So I'll conclude this seemingly useless tidbit of information and announce that next week I'm going to post my personal TOP TEN COMICS EVERYONE SHOULD READ AND YOU PROBABLY ALREADY DID.
If you haven't read any of the comics that I post then...FUCKING READ THEM!
You won't be disappointed.
Well thanks for reading and I'll be making more contributions here and the Green Plate Special for all those veggies out there.
Thanks
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Is this ball moving?
So much has happened since my last post that I mush say...I think the pendulum is swinging up.
First of all it looks like I'm going to do a low budget movie with my friend Tony.
This motivated me to actually finish the longest writing I've done in one sitting. I like the story but it still needs some cleaning up. I'm fine with all that since the clock is running down until filming week.
It's alot of work and we still have a tremendous amount of work ahead of us...but we're doing it and I'm happy I'm finally getting the ball rolling and finishing writing projects rather than having a collection of unfinished stories.
Thanksgiving came and went and I must admit I wish it would come back again. My brother came down from Georgia with my nephews and niece. They are the most adorable children I've ever seen. I haven't seen my brother in years so it was good to have him. I miss him alot.
The day after Thanksgiving was incredible. My girlfriend set up a leftovers-potluck at Ad Barns park. I got to be a jock and play some football with a couple of kids that no one knew, but they just wanted to play. It was great. So many cool people just eating and having a lazy day. It was the best Thanksgiving I've had in a while.
For the first time in a long time the future seems...bright and hopeful and it has nothing to with the economy or jobs...it's just us and the holidays. I wouldn't want it any other way.
First of all it looks like I'm going to do a low budget movie with my friend Tony.
This motivated me to actually finish the longest writing I've done in one sitting. I like the story but it still needs some cleaning up. I'm fine with all that since the clock is running down until filming week.
It's alot of work and we still have a tremendous amount of work ahead of us...but we're doing it and I'm happy I'm finally getting the ball rolling and finishing writing projects rather than having a collection of unfinished stories.
Thanksgiving came and went and I must admit I wish it would come back again. My brother came down from Georgia with my nephews and niece. They are the most adorable children I've ever seen. I haven't seen my brother in years so it was good to have him. I miss him alot.
The day after Thanksgiving was incredible. My girlfriend set up a leftovers-potluck at Ad Barns park. I got to be a jock and play some football with a couple of kids that no one knew, but they just wanted to play. It was great. So many cool people just eating and having a lazy day. It was the best Thanksgiving I've had in a while.
For the first time in a long time the future seems...bright and hopeful and it has nothing to with the economy or jobs...it's just us and the holidays. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I can't believe this happening but it is about time!!
So I have found myself a part of a project...a movie project. Tony Kapel has a new movie coming up and I'm lucky to be part of the writing contribution.
For the first time in a very very long time I feel confident that I can do this.
I feel I have a solid story and now I'm just putting it to paper.
I know I can do this for the first time I can say this and mean it.
I'm tired of always playing myself down and looking at my writing as a useless waste of time.
So I have to come up with the goods and stop sitting on the side lines hoping that everything will turn out.
Here's my chance.
Just don't fuck it up!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
What a night, what a game.
WHAT A GAME!!!!
I haven't seen a Miami-Jets Divisional game like that in a very long time. I know that I recently got back into football
The last time I was really in to Dolphin football Dan Marino was playing as a rookie. I have to admit that the Dolphins
were not looking good in the start of this season. I mean The Dolphins secondary can't block for shit, Ted Ginn Jr. seems like he can't catch when it counts then the shoulder pop heard around the division (for the third time). Pennington suffers
a season ending, possibly career ending, injury to his shoulder. Talk about when it rains it pours. Its seems that all is lost in
the sad city known as Miami.
Well, not this fucking time!
All of sudden the Dolphins bring out the QB that they have been grooming for almost a year and a half.
Chad Henne.
This guy couldn't have come at a better time. Don't get me wrong Pennington will always be the QB that brought us out of the darkness that was the 2007, 1-17, season that really brought this whole team into the stone age of shit. And coming up against the Jets with the second strongest defense in the league as well as very gifted rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez. It was mezmorizing for me that game ranks up there with Giants vs Patriots at Superbowl 42. I haven't seen that many lead changes since Doctor Who. The energy you could feel from space and on top of all that in was in front of a national audience. What a way to say "Hello America" The Jets played better than I've ever seen. This team is going to be tough everytime the Dolphins play them, but you know what I've never been happier to see the improvement both teams have made.
Miami still has alot of kinks to work out and it's only going to take time to do. I can wait especially if the games are going to be as heart stopping as this was.
On a personal note I think I truly happy about the fact that brings back memories of when I was a kid and My Dad and I shared every Suday during the 1980s. My Dad has always been a big NY Jets fan and since I was raised in Miami my whole life I naturally became a Dolphins fan I think is also helped that Dan Marino was on fire in the 1980s. He was just unstoppable as a Quarterback and my how things fell apart once he left. In a way we have our Sunday's back and team rivalry that is closer to home. I've never really been a competative person but the Dolphinse has always been an outlet. The best part about it is that the teams are no longer lop sidded. The Jets and the Dolphins I feel are finally even matched. They both play hard and have great offences. So now I can't sit at the edge of my seat as I can look back with the future like driving to your old house after you've been away. Things have changed but it is filled with so many memories.
Go Dolphins and bring on the Jets.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Meeoow.
So there has been a rumor floating around that a certain over-hyped young woman is to play Catwoman in the next Batman installment. Luckily the rumors turned out to be false.
I'm sorry am I the only one that is just tired of Megan Fox. Yes she's sexy but I don't think acting wise she really has brought anything to table. Looks can get you far...but not that far.
I am a comic book nerd and like so many of my kind. Heroines and vixen villains are source of female empowerment as well as sexuality that lies just under the skin tight rubber costumes of so many of these ladies of crime.
The one that has stood out over the decades has been the one and only Catwoman.
Over the years so many have played this sophisticated cat burglar. In the comics she was the only female villain to take on the Batman. She possessed no super powers no fancy gadgets except for a whip and claws. She had the one weapon that Batman couldn't really find a immunity for (and neither had most comic fans) was her Sexuality.
I know I can hear the snickering and giggling in the back, but I believe that female sexuality is probably one of the time honored weapons that women have used literature and comics. I'm not saying that is the only weapons women have. Wonder Woman has her goddess-like strength, Harley Quinn has psychosis, and any X-men leading lady has fill in blank superpower.
But let's try and stick to those who have not been blessed with the super natural gifts of strength or laser eye beams. Instead some characters use their feminine wilds to entrap or take out opponents who are physically overpowering.
Catwoman is the epitome of the femme fatale. She is strong, independent, and beautiful.Now, I know that Catwoman wears her signature scantly clad outfit like so many heroines must just to make the break in to main stream comics. Sex sells and for those nerds like me growing up...this was the closet thing to sex.
So Megan fox playing the leather clad feline queen of crime? FUCK NO! She is to young, Catwoman, for me, had experience, she was young at heart but not some high school kid just having a joy ride of it all. Then again Catwoman was about the thrill of the hunt. I know Megan Fox is the flavor of the month but she still needs to do some work that has depth cause Catwoman has some depth to her.
My heart will always be with the original Catwomen like Ertha Kitt who had the scrumptious voice and Julie Newmar who...fuck she's Julie Newmar.
but on of the best that I've seen coming close to the whole Catwoman persona was definitely Michelle Pfeiffer. She had the mouth watering looks with the no bullshit attitude that you expect from another costumed loner in Gotham City.
The part that really summed it up for me was in Batman Returns when young woman gets pulled into alley by some long haired lummox that is about to give his victim the ole' in-out when Catwoman comes in and beats the shit out of him and claws his face up good. The damsel in distress turns to thank Catwoman for saving her when Michelle Pfeiffer grabs her by the face and tells her. "You girls are all the same. Waiting around for a Batman to save you. I'm Catwoman hear me roar." I know it may sound goofy but it actually made perfect sense. Catwoman isn't a victim and she won't tolerate one. This won't win Miss Kitty any super hero awards (even though in the comics she becomes "a good guy") There are tough guys with attitudes to match...Catwoman can hack it just like the rest of them. So I should shut my mouth already and give out the picks for Catwoman if I was Christopher Nole.
I think for right now only two ladies jump out at me as a possible Catwoman.
Rosario Dawson and Christina Hendricks
Now I know that Rosario Dawson has played the though girl in Sin City but she definitely will need to bring up the deadly sexual charisma up a little bit but for action chops and looks Dawson has it all. She is a strong pick for me especially her character in Sin City, but the new comer that has really given a good running would be Christina Hendricks.
She certainly has the looks and the sexuality to melt Mr. Freeze to a puddle of quivering ooze and she has the attitude that is on display weekly thanks to Mad Men. The only thing that I could see her doing is deepening the voice a little. Not Death metal deep more like Kathleen Turner deep...holy shit. Kathleen Turner.........whao, I was in a special place there for a second dam that voice.
So who will be the coveted Catwoman, hell Christopher Nolan may not even put Miss Kitty in the movie. Then again, Christopher Nolan can take any one and make them to heavy Batman hitter. I remember saying that it was a huge mistake to make that guy from Knight's Tale the Joker. Boy was I wrong, but Catwoman...I never miss.
I'm sorry am I the only one that is just tired of Megan Fox. Yes she's sexy but I don't think acting wise she really has brought anything to table. Looks can get you far...but not that far.
I am a comic book nerd and like so many of my kind. Heroines and vixen villains are source of female empowerment as well as sexuality that lies just under the skin tight rubber costumes of so many of these ladies of crime.
The one that has stood out over the decades has been the one and only Catwoman.
Over the years so many have played this sophisticated cat burglar. In the comics she was the only female villain to take on the Batman. She possessed no super powers no fancy gadgets except for a whip and claws. She had the one weapon that Batman couldn't really find a immunity for (and neither had most comic fans) was her Sexuality.
I know I can hear the snickering and giggling in the back, but I believe that female sexuality is probably one of the time honored weapons that women have used literature and comics. I'm not saying that is the only weapons women have. Wonder Woman has her goddess-like strength, Harley Quinn has psychosis, and any X-men leading lady has fill in blank superpower.
But let's try and stick to those who have not been blessed with the super natural gifts of strength or laser eye beams. Instead some characters use their feminine wilds to entrap or take out opponents who are physically overpowering.
Catwoman is the epitome of the femme fatale. She is strong, independent, and beautiful.Now, I know that Catwoman wears her signature scantly clad outfit like so many heroines must just to make the break in to main stream comics. Sex sells and for those nerds like me growing up...this was the closet thing to sex.
So Megan fox playing the leather clad feline queen of crime? FUCK NO! She is to young, Catwoman, for me, had experience, she was young at heart but not some high school kid just having a joy ride of it all. Then again Catwoman was about the thrill of the hunt. I know Megan Fox is the flavor of the month but she still needs to do some work that has depth cause Catwoman has some depth to her.
My heart will always be with the original Catwomen like Ertha Kitt who had the scrumptious voice and Julie Newmar who...fuck she's Julie Newmar.
but on of the best that I've seen coming close to the whole Catwoman persona was definitely Michelle Pfeiffer. She had the mouth watering looks with the no bullshit attitude that you expect from another costumed loner in Gotham City.
The part that really summed it up for me was in Batman Returns when young woman gets pulled into alley by some long haired lummox that is about to give his victim the ole' in-out when Catwoman comes in and beats the shit out of him and claws his face up good. The damsel in distress turns to thank Catwoman for saving her when Michelle Pfeiffer grabs her by the face and tells her. "You girls are all the same. Waiting around for a Batman to save you. I'm Catwoman hear me roar." I know it may sound goofy but it actually made perfect sense. Catwoman isn't a victim and she won't tolerate one. This won't win Miss Kitty any super hero awards (even though in the comics she becomes "a good guy") There are tough guys with attitudes to match...Catwoman can hack it just like the rest of them. So I should shut my mouth already and give out the picks for Catwoman if I was Christopher Nole.
I think for right now only two ladies jump out at me as a possible Catwoman.
Rosario Dawson and Christina Hendricks
Now I know that Rosario Dawson has played the though girl in Sin City but she definitely will need to bring up the deadly sexual charisma up a little bit but for action chops and looks Dawson has it all. She is a strong pick for me especially her character in Sin City, but the new comer that has really given a good running would be Christina Hendricks.
She certainly has the looks and the sexuality to melt Mr. Freeze to a puddle of quivering ooze and she has the attitude that is on display weekly thanks to Mad Men. The only thing that I could see her doing is deepening the voice a little. Not Death metal deep more like Kathleen Turner deep...holy shit. Kathleen Turner.........whao, I was in a special place there for a second dam that voice.
So who will be the coveted Catwoman, hell Christopher Nolan may not even put Miss Kitty in the movie. Then again, Christopher Nolan can take any one and make them to heavy Batman hitter. I remember saying that it was a huge mistake to make that guy from Knight's Tale the Joker. Boy was I wrong, but Catwoman...I never miss.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I have such baby soft skin to ever be a comdian.
I always tried to make people laugh. I don't think I'm that funny but I know for a fact my weird sense of humor has definitely gotten me out trouble during my Jr. High days.I've had people who have said that maybe I should get on stage one day for open mic, but I know there is a huge difference making a bunch of friends who are drunk laugh and making an audience laugh, especially for your first time.
I'm sure one day I'll grow the balls (or drink all of Ireland) and make my break till that dream day.I have to contend with the fear of dealing with comedic peers. This doesn't sound that ban...unless you were fortunate to watch the self-esteem slaughter house which was The Joan Rivers Roast on Comedy Central.
HOLY FUCKING SWINGING COCK OF CHRIST!!!!
I have never seen the such a crucifixion in super slow-motion before. I'm not saying the roast was bad far from it but it was brutal. I haven't heard jokes that fucked since I saw that movie The Aristocrats.
WOW.
I do not have that thick of skin. I would've had to skin a couple of neighbors just prevent from shitting myself from just watching.
Gilbert Godfrey I would have to say was the true star of the roast. What came out of this squinty-eyed mother fuckers mouth was dam near heart stopping. His routine about how when Robin Quivers (Co-host on the Howard Stern Show) father would molest her he secretly was thinking about molesting her sister. My groin tightened up like a soccer player had mistaken my balls for the winning shot of the World Cup.
Holy shit, every comedian that had the honor of saying a little something about Joan Rivers was on fire about setting this woman on fire. I have to say Joan Rivers is the best sport in the Universe. She has always made me laugh but the barrage she took that night was like watch the Running of the Bulls except with all the runners strapped down on gynecology stirrups facing the bulls. Even when Joan Rivers came up to thank her guests. She tore into these kids like baby seals. No one walked out of that Roast with the same numbers of assholes they walked in with.
It was like a gladiatorial fight, entertaining with a lot of blood loss, but I guess it showed how tough comedians really are. Fuck mixed martial arts or even gunshots. Nothing hits hard like insult-comedy. They cut deep, hard, and constantly and these comedians walked it off like it was a summer breeze. Well, at least that what it looked like on the TV.
This was no holds bard entertainment...I just hate to see what the natural progression will be for "the roast". The new and improved roast will be a short monologue followed by someone pouring battery acid in the eyes of the guest of honor while he or she is gang raped by the audience. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard while during a state of shock. It was worth every cringing minute.
That's comedy folks and it hurts while it heals.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
It's about time and the view is spectacular!!!
So for the first time in cooking show history.(Well as far as I know.) I have finally seen some great vegetarian cooking on TV.
It seems that Top Chef Masters finally had a challenge worthy of my very picky pallet.
I have to note that I'm not in favor of censorship, but it does provide more challenges for those trying to get around these imposed barricades.
One example was Ren and Stimpy.
Ren and Stimpy use to be a kids show. For its time it was racy and quite fucked up for kids, but they still managed to maneuver their way around the censors. So if these crazy characters wanted to do something a little blue (which half the time was the whole show) they had to be creative about it. Then after Nickelodeon canceled them they were picked up years later by Spike TV. In their new home they pretty much had free range on any subject. Unfortunately...it just fell flat. It didn't have the same edge even though they could do anything. I guess the set limitations the show they had on Nickelodeon gave the artists and writers new ways of approaching these funny dilemmas with a minimal risk of bags of angry letters from concerned parents.
This same concept was played out in the kitchen. Now as a vegetarian it touches close to me to watch the Food Network or Top Chef and these chefs are great and they make all these incredibly delicious stuff but meal after meal it's meat meat meat.
That's fine but I'm left out by the fryer not being able to make any of these meals with out substitution. I know boundaries, creativity, but I would just to see vegetarians and even vegans represented at least once in this Food entertainment genre.
So finally the call was answered.Top Chef had a guest judge come in and judge the skill and creativity of these cooking Masters. The judge was none other than one of the most attractive actresses in Indie and hollywood movies Zooey Deschanel.
As the judge she had some dietary restrictions that the chef needed to fallow. For one she is a vegan, but not only that (and this is where it gets hard) She is soy and gluten intolerant. I'm a vegetarian so I still get me eggs and cheese, but soy and wheat products. Man, that is some pretty stiff code to live by including the food allergies.
I was even a little stumped on what the hell these Master Chefs were going to come up with. To my pleasant surprise these chefs pulled off some of the most scrumptious and really creative meals. You still got the constipated faces of having to go with out cooking an animal, but over all they proved that they were up to the challenge and that they were real masters.
The food they served were cooked with the same respect and expertise they would have used if it were Kobe beef that was the main ingredient. Cucumber gazpacho, Quinoa pasta with a medley of roasted and sun dried tomatoes, Grilled eggplant. The dished looked delicious and for the first time I saw vegetarian cooking presented in a good light, not some kind of Salad or flavorless tofu cubes. That episode was a moment of clarity. It can be done, it can be accepted, it can be just as delicious as all the other and you don't have to kill any animals to get it.
For so long since I started this trek of non-meat eating I had finally seen an eating movement receive it's much needed acknowledgment. I know it was definitely not on purpose but I have to thank Zooey Deschanel for putting it on the table and the chefs for making it happen. I know it is a bullshit reality show but for one episode it didn't taste as mindless as it looked.
It seems that Top Chef Masters finally had a challenge worthy of my very picky pallet.
I have to note that I'm not in favor of censorship, but it does provide more challenges for those trying to get around these imposed barricades.
One example was Ren and Stimpy.
Ren and Stimpy use to be a kids show. For its time it was racy and quite fucked up for kids, but they still managed to maneuver their way around the censors. So if these crazy characters wanted to do something a little blue (which half the time was the whole show) they had to be creative about it. Then after Nickelodeon canceled them they were picked up years later by Spike TV. In their new home they pretty much had free range on any subject. Unfortunately...it just fell flat. It didn't have the same edge even though they could do anything. I guess the set limitations the show they had on Nickelodeon gave the artists and writers new ways of approaching these funny dilemmas with a minimal risk of bags of angry letters from concerned parents.
This same concept was played out in the kitchen. Now as a vegetarian it touches close to me to watch the Food Network or Top Chef and these chefs are great and they make all these incredibly delicious stuff but meal after meal it's meat meat meat.
That's fine but I'm left out by the fryer not being able to make any of these meals with out substitution. I know boundaries, creativity, but I would just to see vegetarians and even vegans represented at least once in this Food entertainment genre.
So finally the call was answered.Top Chef had a guest judge come in and judge the skill and creativity of these cooking Masters. The judge was none other than one of the most attractive actresses in Indie and hollywood movies Zooey Deschanel.
As the judge she had some dietary restrictions that the chef needed to fallow. For one she is a vegan, but not only that (and this is where it gets hard) She is soy and gluten intolerant. I'm a vegetarian so I still get me eggs and cheese, but soy and wheat products. Man, that is some pretty stiff code to live by including the food allergies.
I was even a little stumped on what the hell these Master Chefs were going to come up with. To my pleasant surprise these chefs pulled off some of the most scrumptious and really creative meals. You still got the constipated faces of having to go with out cooking an animal, but over all they proved that they were up to the challenge and that they were real masters.
The food they served were cooked with the same respect and expertise they would have used if it were Kobe beef that was the main ingredient. Cucumber gazpacho, Quinoa pasta with a medley of roasted and sun dried tomatoes, Grilled eggplant. The dished looked delicious and for the first time I saw vegetarian cooking presented in a good light, not some kind of Salad or flavorless tofu cubes. That episode was a moment of clarity. It can be done, it can be accepted, it can be just as delicious as all the other and you don't have to kill any animals to get it.
For so long since I started this trek of non-meat eating I had finally seen an eating movement receive it's much needed acknowledgment. I know it was definitely not on purpose but I have to thank Zooey Deschanel for putting it on the table and the chefs for making it happen. I know it is a bullshit reality show but for one episode it didn't taste as mindless as it looked.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Is there a God? Or are you just happy to see me?
So I've decided to philosophically tackle a subject that has been discussed since creation or it's creation. Of course I speak of the One and only GOD (gods if you're polytheistic).
I recently had a conversation with my brother one day about the existence of UFOs. I was saying that it is mathematically impossible for our species to be the only "intelligent" life in our universe.
My brother answered "Well I believe in the Bible so..."
So???
I went on rattling on about the universe and space travel capabilities and how one day we will be the one abducting aliens from far off planets.
My brother again responded "All that stuff is the government covering up their top secret military hardware."
I agreed and added that it can't be all government weapons of war. I mean there is an incalculable amount of space around us with nearly an infinite amount of stars that could sustain life. I mean we live on a planet as small as earth and at one time we use to think the world was flat and nobody existed over the great Atlantic ocean. Now, as an American, I know that isn't true. So I went to explain that there was evidence that there was life on Mars and it may have been a catalyst for life on this planet. There was a brief pause, knowing that we were moving into argument country...not argument more of a disagreement demilitarized zone. We paused and my brother started to tell me how we have diffrent beliefs, he believes in God and I don't. I quickly answered with a "I never said I didn't believe in God." He said ok and continued with his point. I have to admit that I completely didn't hear a word of his conversation after that statement. I wasn't angry at him. I guess it just got me thinking.
So our conversation ended and we said good bye and I was left behind to contemplate why a good amount of my family thinks I'm an Atheist.
I'm not an Atheist. I just think Atheist are the opposite side of the same religious coin. Some say Satanism would be the opposite but I don't think Christianity or any kind of religion would really function properly with out a villain. Some evil figure that explains why there is so much hatred and self destruction.
Atheists don't buy into the bad movie called religion. So their certainty lies not with Satan or evil but that there is no God. So the whole religion game does not pertain to them. Unfortunately something like 90% of the whole world believes in some sort of higher being and in this day and age it seems like every major conflict that has ever been fought has been on the behalf or fueled by one religious belief or another.
I unfortunately am not certain of either. I think it's sill to hear people go on about how they are for certain. That they know for sure that there is a God and in addition that they know his/her/its will or big plan for everybody in the world.
I guess, deep down, I'm a little jealous of those who follow a religion or are Atheists because they seem to sure of their convictions. That is a major hang up to get out of the way. Better nights of sleep would follow if there wasn't so many different events today and in history that would inspire so much doubt.
So I zone out at work trying to think if there is anything that could convince me of one the other, black or white, Pepsi or Coke which will it be.
I mean if I was Atheist I would probably fumble with the idea of no God would be kind of scary. I grew up with a very religious family so I was indoctrinated very early. There is also that there is no specific concept that I know of that Atheists don't believe in. Ok maybe you don't believe in the Judeo/Christian God and other major religious figures in the world...but the concept is still so vague.
I mean what constitutes a God?
Does God have to be something that creates life? If so then I believe in Mom and Dad since I was born. Oh and I've also believed in my parents Gods...my Grand Parents.
I mean Zues had Chronos my Mom had my Uelo.
What if the criteria for a God? Is it the power to destory? Then we should get on our knees and worship Oppenheimer and his wonderful toys.
Maybe it needs to be just and good and cares for his/her/its servants.
Well, that has not happen. Every culture that has worshipped a God or Gods has been left to fend for themselves one time or another. Christians, Jews, Native Americans, Muslims, Romans, Babylonians, you name it and there has been a point where they needed their God and he didn't show up. There is nothing wrong with that...it just means that maybe this concept of a perfect being with perfect intentions ruling over us in a very imperfect way is one perfect contradiction, but to say there no God depends on ones point of view of what God is.
On the other hand if I was true follower God I don't think the constant contradictions would sit well with me.
A mercyful God punishing those who don't believe properly will be punished.
So a convicted serial killer can find Jesus in jail. Really say he's sorry and make it into heaven.
But some one who lives their lives peacefully and righteously and doesn't believe in Jesus goes to hell forever.
Or the constant land disputes between Jews and Muslims, both who claim that has giving this New Jersey sized parcel of land that they attack each other like wolverines over. Funny enough that both the Muslims and Jews fallow nearly the same Monotheistic philosophy, even sharing some of the same Holidays. The Christians have a long history in of not only being fed to lions, but perpetuating genocide from indigenous Americans, Jews, even having it's own terrorist organization known as the Ku Klux Klan, and what the fuck is the Dali Lama doing in a fucking Mercedes. What happened to the cause of suffering is desire!?!
of
of
of Then again like I was saying before to completely cancel out the existence of God because how treat each other is a bit hasty.
I mean scientists are searching for the illustrious "God" particle that they hope would give answers on the origins of all mass in the universe. 
something so small and so simple really be the perfect example of a Universal "God" One that is not bound my human prejudice, morals or logic. It exists so that everything exists and it exists in all of us.
something so small and so simple really be the perfect example of a Universal "God" One that is not bound my human prejudice, morals or logic. It exists so that everything exists and it exists in all of us.It's like the great George Carlin put it. If there is a God I would worship it would be the sun. It gives all the the things we need to live and it never judges or interferes in our way life.
If George Carlin can say that there is a "God" of sorts well then there could be.
As a human we have always strived to discover the answers to some of the simplest and most difficult questions.
Maybe there was something to that tree of knowledge that Judeo/Christian God tried to protect Adam and Eve from. Maybe he knew that knowledge would drive them insane with questions that perhaps God could not or would not answer.
Maybe the tree of knowledge was the temptation of a life completely independent of God. They say that Eden was a paradise, just like heaven and ignorance is bliss. This is not a coincidence.
Perhaps in this particular story in the Bible Adam and Eve pulled the back the curtain only to reveal that the great Oz was themselves lost in the realization that their lives were their own and the facade could only do so much.
I'm not saying that God is a placebo, but what if the truth was that there is no one looking out for out there in the Universe.
Would faith die?
Is God the hope that lies within us all that there is someone control so we couldn't be responsible for our actions, for our children, for what is expected of us. Or are we just ants screaming into the waves at a midnight shore believing the crashing of the waves are the returned prayers with all the answers rushing towards us. The great response to our inevitable extinction.
I guess I don't believe in God but I can't help thinking there is something out there that just might fit the profile. Who know.
I don't so I won't pretend that I do.
Monday, July 27, 2009
What ever reality TV touches turns to shit.
I like to think that I'm an amateur cook.
I love food and I love the way people get when they eat something they really enjoy (most of the time this joy manifests as a food dance)
I mean the key to world peace is going to be food. No matter who you are everyone has a favorite food.
I love food and I love the way people get when they eat something they really enjoy (most of the time this joy manifests as a food dance)
I mean the key to world peace is going to be food. No matter who you are everyone has a favorite food.
When someone talks about their favorite food anyone can relate to that kind of excitement it. I know that sometimes it's hard for me because I'm a vegetarian to really relate to everybody's tastes, but I guess that motivates me to introduce some people to what I eat.
I have my own points of view and reasons why I'm a vegetarian. Not that I'm passing judgment on those people who eat meat. It's just not for me.
I have my own points of view and reasons why I'm a vegetarian. Not that I'm passing judgment on those people who eat meat. It's just not for me.
Anyway before I lose my train thought...
I've always watched cooking shows from Julia Child and the Frugal Gourmet when I was young. I was fascinated with so many different ingredients coming together to make such delicious food. I loved the fact that food spoke out like a song or movie, every feeling was reflected with ingredients and ingenuity of the meal. Cooking was a canvas in which the Chef or Cook could convey their gastronomical master pieces that ranged from insanely expensive aged meats and cheeses to simple everyday snack foods.
You can taste the love.
Then the Gods blessed my mild obsession with a cable channel.
And God spoke and named the channel "Foodnetwork" and it was good.
Good, It was fucking Great.
I had never seen so many chefs so many different styles of cooking. I was over whelmed
Good Eats with Alton Brown is and will always be one of the defining moments when I truly wanted to learn how to cook. He melded rocket science with grill cheese sandwiches, revealing the secrets on what makes oil and eggs into mayonnaise and why a pan of water is so important for making the perfect cheesecakes.
I thought that is was Christmas all over. Then came "Everyday Italian" and "Barefoot Contessa" which made the camera a more personal element in cooking. Who knew the closer you filmed the food you were preparing the more appetizing it made it.
Now, I though that this could not get any better...but it did.
The greatest of cooking shows which I personally feel started a huge movement in modern cooking challenges was the one and only.
IRON CHEFS (Japanese)
I've always watched cooking shows from Julia Child and the Frugal Gourmet when I was young. I was fascinated with so many different ingredients coming together to make such delicious food. I loved the fact that food spoke out like a song or movie, every feeling was reflected with ingredients and ingenuity of the meal. Cooking was a canvas in which the Chef or Cook could convey their gastronomical master pieces that ranged from insanely expensive aged meats and cheeses to simple everyday snack foods.
You can taste the love.
Then the Gods blessed my mild obsession with a cable channel.
And God spoke and named the channel "Foodnetwork" and it was good.
Good, It was fucking Great.
I had never seen so many chefs so many different styles of cooking. I was over whelmed
Good Eats with Alton Brown is and will always be one of the defining moments when I truly wanted to learn how to cook. He melded rocket science with grill cheese sandwiches, revealing the secrets on what makes oil and eggs into mayonnaise and why a pan of water is so important for making the perfect cheesecakes.
I thought that is was Christmas all over. Then came "Everyday Italian" and "Barefoot Contessa" which made the camera a more personal element in cooking. Who knew the closer you filmed the food you were preparing the more appetizing it made it.
Now, I though that this could not get any better...but it did.
The greatest of cooking shows which I personally feel started a huge movement in modern cooking challenges was the one and only.
IRON CHEFS (Japanese)
This is the Pièce de résistance of all food shows. Yes it was kitschy and it had all the wonder and goofiness of any other Japanese game show, but this I felt, really put cooking as entertainment with out cheapening it.
Every night for at least 2yrs I wouldn't miss and episode.
All this over exposure to cooking and different cultural foods began to dominate me when I would go to the grocery store. I would pay up the ass for expensive olive oils or over priced wines thinking that this would make me, at least in a mental state, closer to these culinary Gods that I had sold my soul (as well as a lot of my free time) to.
The more and more I watched the more I realized that good ingredients don't have to be the most expensive. It was freshest and best quality that mattered.
So every weekend I would try a new dish. Home made sushi, Eggplant Parmesan, Sun dried tomato caprice salad sandwiches on home made baguettes, I wanted to cook as much as I could when I could.
The best thing, I realized was how happy I was when I cooked for someone (that's especially hard being an herb around a lot of carnies). I started to understand why some people love to cook. The joy and pride to feed someone literally sustaining some ones life not just with baser sustenance but a meal that you put love into (not that kind of love) was incredibly satisfying.
I know that with today's hustle and bustle lifestyle it's hard to sit down and cook a good meal. Especially when the chef is Boyardee and your hungry now!
It's sad that this ever growing society built on speed and instant gratification slowly loses the little things that makes life worth wild. Still there is always hope. Men try to show off their chops on the grill while many women had to deal with a tradition of being the official cook wether they liked it or not. I learned most of what i know from my mom.
Over the years cooking has grown in popularity. Now it's not unusual for people to recognize chef on TV. These culinary masters are now on par with celebrities.
Even the attitude of most chefs have changed. Well not really if you've ever worked in a restaurant kitchen you would see that tempers can flare when the dinner rush comes steamrolling in. I use to think it was about pompous stuffy gourmet chefs eating nothing less than foie gras and truffles every 20 minutes, adorn with medals like generals of the Zagat brigade.
Now there is, I wouldn't say though guy as much as no bullshit chefs. These guys are cultured, professional, and know exactly what to do when there calling the shots in their kitchen. They also don't take shit from any one.
Bourdain is the prime example of this no bullshit movement in the culinary world. I'm sure there are many more out there but Bourdain was the first I've ever heard of. "A cooks tour" was a breath of fresh air for the Food network. He seemed like the kind of guy who wasn't always going to try big restauranteurs' food and politely always give the same acknowledging nod and say how good it was. He's honest about food and those who bring some of the greatest dishes to life.
In "A Cooks Tour" (show not the book) I loved watching him reveal how most chefs who wouldn't compromise taste in any fashion eat your average junk every night after work. I'm sure the fatigue and cooking all night would make any one not want to see kitchen for at least week.
But Bourdain keeps the message simple and the menu even simpler as he goes globe trotting in search for that real hole in the wall that serves some of the best food any one has ever had. It's funny I'm practically kissing this guys ass and if he knew I was a vegetarian he'd probably tell me to fuck off. Yes, Anthony Bourdain is no lover of vegetarians even calling vegans "the hezbollah" of the veggie movement.
I personally thinks it's funny he's a great writer and chef. 
Then there is Gordon Ramsay...what can I say about Gordon Ramsay that hasn't already been said about the Atom bomb. Genius and none shall survive his wrath, want to talk about no bullshit chef...I believe that if bullshit like anti-matter came in contact with Ramsay he'll just explode which he often does... constantly... always.
Then there is Gordon Ramsay...what can I say about Gordon Ramsay that hasn't already been said about the Atom bomb. Genius and none shall survive his wrath, want to talk about no bullshit chef...I believe that if bullshit like anti-matter came in contact with Ramsay he'll just explode which he often does... constantly... always.
Sometimes I think it's unfortunate for Ramsay. Most of the time he isn't allowed to show his skills in the Kitchen, he is however given free reign when it come to tearing a person a new asshole.
Unfortunately, this misappropriation of verbal beatings compared to cooking skill leaves an opening for an abomination that can only be found on TV.
Food Network has gone down the same road that so many mindless TV networks have gone down. It has been bitten with the reality TV bug.
It still has a bunch of good cooking shows and great chefs but slowly and this happens with almost every channel, it begins with one or two simple harmless reality contest shows like "Chopped" and "The Next Foodnetwork Stars" then it grows in to the contemporary obsession... humiliation and acts of public degradation. I mean Fox jumped that gun with "Hells Kitchen"(funny enough it stars Gordon Ramsay and Bravo has "Top Chef"
Reality television has become a zoo for the severely brain damaged. Every show exists to exhibit the human condition at it's most rediculous. There is a special place in hell for the producers of these shows. Hopefully it is and endless lollapalooza staring David Hasselhoff for all eternity followed by Sharon Osbourne greatest calls in "So you think have Hemorrhoids"
I guess it's that feeling of watching someone getting in trouble, standing by and saying "Shit, I'm glad that's not me."
I don't know what this unstoppable fetish is with watching others get shitted on. We're a nation with a sever case of Schadenfreude. Something about watching others suffer give so many the voyeur hard on and now it seems they're putting shit on my plate.
No thank you... I'll just make something when I get home.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Chi wiz this sucks
I've never been a spiritual person.I guess all those years of Christians shoving their buckets of hypocritical bullshit down my throat has left full yet foul mouthed.
Then there is always the shining examples of how well the Jews and the Muslims treat each other especially in the "Holy Land".
Nothing is like watching the birthplace of I guess would have been a kind, accepting and loving man's birthplace become a war zone.
Then again how do I know Jesus was such a good guy. I mean he never committed to Mary Magdalen, never told guys who wrote the Bible to quit referring her as a "whore", and I would be pist if my Dad let me die on a cross then sent me to his Nemesis so I could get the shit kicked and raped out of me.
I would have liked to seen that home coming.
Hey Son, I hope your not mad at your dear ole' Dad I just wanted to save all these neandratals from the horrible deeds they did.
What, Well they haven't completely changed their ways...well...ok they didn't.
No, their still trying rob, rape and kill each other, but look at the bright side. They wear that Roman torture device that you died on around thier necks.
Why?
Because they love you.
How could someone be so sadistic?
I don't know? Ask your mother.
(And scene)
Then there are the Shintoists...don't get me started about the Shintoists. What are they hiding? Despite what they actually believe in...because fuck if I know. (I do know it has something to do with Final Fantasy 7)
I jest (no I don't) but there are spiritual principles that I believe in.
For one there is Karma. I believe in Karma because in a scientific point of view. I have witnessed it.
Nothing like an ex-girl/boyfriend getting fucked over in the same matter they had fucked you over. It's especially sweet when they call you up to tell you about it.
I know I give this a negative context but good Karma happens too.
There is a saying about Karma that unfortunately is true when one is wronged on our daily walk in life.
"Karma is just justice without the satisfaction" James Caan in Way of the Gun.
The other, even though I bash this book a very good amount, is found in the Bible.
"Do onto others what you would have done onto your self."
Great philosiphy from a religion who has inspired millions to follow a moral code that stands truer to "Do as I say not as I do"
I was originally was going to speak about the Chi and how it some one messes with one's Chi it can throw one off balance for the rest of the day.
Instead all I did was complain.
Typical.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
A Puerto Rican Judge!!! There goes the Judicial System
I was originally going to post something about my love for cosplay instead I find my self forced to comment on what is going on in Washington.
So, it looks like we will finally have Latina in the Supreme Court. Who thought I would see the day.
I'm not surprised that during questioning of Sotomayor the most prevalent question to be asked would be of race. Every Republican jumped around or just plowed the future judge with race based questions.
Ms Sotomayor was part of a decision that denied a promotion for some Connecticut fire fighters due to the fact that no black fire fighters passed the test.
Now weather or not the tests were bias or that the black firefighters just couldn't hack the test. I have now idea.
What I do know is that racism is still alive and well.
I'm not saying if you disagree with Sotomayor's decision you're instantly a racist.
No, that isn't it at all.
I haven't read the whole case so I don't know for sure if she was right or wrong about this decision.
Still, to watch so many Right wing supporters go on and on about a decision that prevented a group of firefighters from getting a raise.
This is not a decision that put an individual in prison for life. This decision did not let a convicted child molester go free. This decision, for what ever reason, has become a soap box for scared, rich white men in politics.
Rush Limbaugh goes on and on how Sotomayor is nothing but a bigot just waiting for her to let some child rapists go free in local preschools so long as they are a minority.
I don't know if its funny or ironic to watch some fat, drug addict who has based an entire career on being a bigoted piece of shit like Rush turn around and start calling others racists.
Is it really that scary?
Is it heart stopping thinking about some one who busted their ass in Brooklyn to become a Supreme Court judge.
They one thing that has come to light, the real scary thing that has reared its ugly head is that ever since Obama and Sotomayor came into the political scene...it has all been about race.
Rush Limbaugh and that douche bag Senator from South Carolina have done nothing but expose themselves and the bigots they are.
I swear if I hear that fuck face Lindsey Graham ask one more question about Sotomayors temperament I'm going to lose it.
Just come out and say it.
You hot blooded Mexicans will put every gringo in jail.
What?
I thought Puerto Rico was a part of Mexico or maybe Cuba who knows?
Yes it's true as a Latino we do have a mission to take over the United States.
I have to admit this because it's to late for the white people to stop us. This mission has been in motion since Columbus discovered the West Indies. This mission has been passed from generation to generation.
Operation: Oye Papo adonde esta los frijoles?
Well despite this charade that is just a huge waste of tax payer's time, she will be the first Hispanic women to ever hold a seat in the Supreme Court. Personally, I'm very proud to see this. I'm half Puerto Rican and to see this makes me proud. My Great Grandmother came here during the Depression and busted her ass to get her family here from Puerto Rico. It's good to see that we (and by we I mean Latinos) aren't just mechanics or cleaning ladies. We are Americans just like so many others that occupy this land. We may be diffrent and loud but we are worth getting to know because this is just another step closer to being...just like everyone else.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Exorcism? Dam near killed him!!!
Homosexuality.
For some reason the practice of one man fucking another man outside of the confines of a state prison has scared society since it's conception.
Why?
I don't fucking know?
But it's scary as well as funny every time I see the reactions and "solutions" to this horrible plague that has infested this great planet of ours.
So there is a huge buzz about this video on Youtube that some church in Connecticut had uploaded.
The video takes place at a black church where a priest, priest's wife and some deacons all take turns trying to exorcise a demon of homosexuality.
Maybe not a demon of homosexuality...lets just say a gay demon.
I mean lets be honest, I don't mind those who have become possessed by demons...just as long as they are straight demons. I can't emphasize this enough. Anyhoo...
So for nine minutes this grainy low budget home movie of what looks to be a gang feel up on some teen having a seizure, is suppose to spiritually expel these "gay demons" from this teen who is suspected of being gay.
(Quick hint: this teen isn't going to make his break on Broadway with acting like that.)
Unfortunately, the end of the video is cut off so I never get to see if the boy is cured and what a gay demon looks like.
Thank God that finally religious zealots have found away to be rid of something they don't understand...They've already mastered the exorcising of reason and logic, it was just a natural progression.
I can't wait till their next video when they wrestle some Paleontologists to the ground and exorcise that bullshit story about evolution and that dinosaurs were not being used as vehicles for cavemen.
I guess even as I make light of this situation to be very honest...it really scares me.
Has it come down to this. Have so many people giving up on finding their own way in life that they approach any lifestyle that they do not understand with the reasoning and intelligence they would use to fight off a wizard or unicorn.
This is the 21st Century and yes I'm upset that there are no flying cars but have so many become so codependent on God that they've given up on thinking for them selves.
I know that everyone has a gay cousin or uncle or aunt. Everybody is less than 4 degrees away form some one who is gay, lesbian, or trans gender and I'm suppose to believe that this lifestyle is so alien so..."fiendish" that no one can see the human behind the well oiled chest and rainbow flag.
If there is a God in heaven I would like to know which is his favorite gay child.
My guess...Buddy Cole.
For some reason the practice of one man fucking another man outside of the confines of a state prison has scared society since it's conception.
Why?
I don't fucking know?
But it's scary as well as funny every time I see the reactions and "solutions" to this horrible plague that has infested this great planet of ours.
So there is a huge buzz about this video on Youtube that some church in Connecticut had uploaded.
The video takes place at a black church where a priest, priest's wife and some deacons all take turns trying to exorcise a demon of homosexuality.
Maybe not a demon of homosexuality...lets just say a gay demon.
I mean lets be honest, I don't mind those who have become possessed by demons...just as long as they are straight demons. I can't emphasize this enough. Anyhoo...
So for nine minutes this grainy low budget home movie of what looks to be a gang feel up on some teen having a seizure, is suppose to spiritually expel these "gay demons" from this teen who is suspected of being gay.
(Quick hint: this teen isn't going to make his break on Broadway with acting like that.)
Unfortunately, the end of the video is cut off so I never get to see if the boy is cured and what a gay demon looks like.
Thank God that finally religious zealots have found away to be rid of something they don't understand...They've already mastered the exorcising of reason and logic, it was just a natural progression.
I can't wait till their next video when they wrestle some Paleontologists to the ground and exorcise that bullshit story about evolution and that dinosaurs were not being used as vehicles for cavemen.
I guess even as I make light of this situation to be very honest...it really scares me.
Has it come down to this. Have so many people giving up on finding their own way in life that they approach any lifestyle that they do not understand with the reasoning and intelligence they would use to fight off a wizard or unicorn.
This is the 21st Century and yes I'm upset that there are no flying cars but have so many become so codependent on God that they've given up on thinking for them selves.
I know that everyone has a gay cousin or uncle or aunt. Everybody is less than 4 degrees away form some one who is gay, lesbian, or trans gender and I'm suppose to believe that this lifestyle is so alien so..."fiendish" that no one can see the human behind the well oiled chest and rainbow flag.
If there is a God in heaven I would like to know which is his favorite gay child.
My guess...Buddy Cole.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Key West and Family ties.
This has been a great bonding experience.
For the first time in a long time a family outing wasn't obligation or a fucking chore.
It was (shall I dare say) fun and relaxing. I know that parents just don't understand (I swore there was song based on this observation) when you're younger but as time goes by things just change.
I remember all the bullshit arguing and rage that my parents would inspire in me. There were times that I wish I hadn't known them at all except to pay for my outstanding therapy bills.
Now, after all the teenage angst and the yelling and the fighting is done and gone.
It feels great.
I never realized how much I love my family until we went on that Key West trip.
My parents have become more gentle and easier to talk to.
I know that my Dad's visit to the doctor that said he had skin cancer (benign not malignant) those couple of weeks really scared the shit out of me.
I mean I had enough of a fucking breakdown when Danny was in Iraq. Then this...I was about to fucking lose it.
These events have giving me perspective a focused vision that I need to snap the fuck out of this isolationist funk and keep in contact with the ones I love.
That is a rant for another time.
The trip however was great. It has been such a long time since we were all together (well not all Manny will be kidnapped the next time we go off and hang out.) like one big dysfunctional family.
Lude and rude jokes, poking fun at each other and getting trashed.
I don't think I've really sat down and had a drink with my father, but I did last weekend and it was great. We talked so much shit about so many different things.
I really am proud to be part of this family. I love my family more than I know and it is great to finally realize this.
For the first time in a long time a family outing wasn't obligation or a fucking chore.
It was (shall I dare say) fun and relaxing. I know that parents just don't understand (I swore there was song based on this observation) when you're younger but as time goes by things just change.
I remember all the bullshit arguing and rage that my parents would inspire in me. There were times that I wish I hadn't known them at all except to pay for my outstanding therapy bills.
Now, after all the teenage angst and the yelling and the fighting is done and gone.
It feels great.
I never realized how much I love my family until we went on that Key West trip.
My parents have become more gentle and easier to talk to.
I know that my Dad's visit to the doctor that said he had skin cancer (benign not malignant) those couple of weeks really scared the shit out of me.
I mean I had enough of a fucking breakdown when Danny was in Iraq. Then this...I was about to fucking lose it.
These events have giving me perspective a focused vision that I need to snap the fuck out of this isolationist funk and keep in contact with the ones I love.
That is a rant for another time.
The trip however was great. It has been such a long time since we were all together (well not all Manny will be kidnapped the next time we go off and hang out.) like one big dysfunctional family.
Lude and rude jokes, poking fun at each other and getting trashed.
I don't think I've really sat down and had a drink with my father, but I did last weekend and it was great. We talked so much shit about so many different things.
I really am proud to be part of this family. I love my family more than I know and it is great to finally realize this.
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